


Unconditionally

by Saiya_hime



Category: TMNT - Fandom
Genre: Alcoholism, Blood, Domestic Violance, Love Triangle, M/M, Mpreg, Rape, Self Harm, Substance Abuse, TMNT, Thoughts of Suicide, domestic abuse, dub-con, non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:16:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26137981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiya_hime/pseuds/Saiya_hime
Summary: Leo has been gone for over a year learning how to be a leader. Donnie takes up the mantle but failed horribly at trying to be something he is not. Things are more complicated when Leo returns. Raph believes Leo is trying to take his mate from him when Leo starts to question his poor treatment of Donnie. How will Donnie react when he finds out Raph's suspicions are true?How will Donnie handle his brothers attempts to win his heart when he will stop at nothing to prevent the horrible future he lived through? (Same as it Never was episode referenced)How long before Leo and Raph tear their family apart when they learn of Donnie’s secret he kept for six long years?Who will he choose?(dark themeS)
Relationships: Leonardo/Donatello, Raphael/Donatello
Comments: 22
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

Donatello was beyond exhausted yet he wouldn't tell them. There was too much to be done and too little time to do it. All expectations fell to him to get things done and maintain order in their home. The work once divided between him and the eldest now resting on his shoulders alone, seeing as Leo had been gone for well over a year.

Master Splinter was sick; he had been for some time. The last winter storm had taken its toll on his when he failed to get the heaters up and running before it hit. That is why he sat here, going over the many pills April had brought him earlier and sorting them for the week. Ensuring the right dosage for his frail father.

Mikey had been out all day earning money as Cawabunga Carl. After taking out money for gas and a small portion for himself, he gave the rest to him to help pay for the finances. Food, car insurance, medicine and whatever else he saw fit. It was a small earning but Donnie rarely used it. Instead he stored it away for Mikey. He made enough as an IT rep to cover their living costs.

Raph was not taking the absence of their brother well. He harbored deep resentment toward Leo for leaving in the first place. It got worse when the letters stopped. That anger and hatred turned toward him, when their father named him the leader in place of the eldest, a position he thought was rightfully his as the second son. He did not treat him with the same respect he had Leo. He blew him off every time he spoke, pushed past him when he asked questions on where he had been all night or just rolled his eyes and went to his room.

He sighed softly as he closed the final container and set it off to the side. He then gathered the pills and set them in a bin marked with their father's name. Once done he walked to the kitchen to brew another pot of coffee. Raph was not home yet, despite it being nearly four am. The tracker he built into the bike showed he was on the move again after stopping near Casey's place. No doubt the two were out drinking again. This made him frown. He hated a drunken Raph. Sober Raph was vulgar and cruel. Drunken Raph could not be reasoned with.

There would be no sleep this night. His shift for work started at seven and he still had a list of other things to do. The lair would not fix itself and sadly no matter how many timed he tried to stay ahead, more things would need his attention.

A loud slam was heard down the tunnel. Raph was on his way home and right now, Donnie was in no mood for him. He was going to wake up Mikey and their father and both were in need of rest.

The coffee finished just as the red clad turtle walked in. "Aw shit…" he grumbled upon seeing him. "Gotta deal with fuck'en fearless junior and god dem lecture…" his brother stumbled forward. The pungent smell of alcohol was on his breath, making Donnie wrinkle his nose. "Not a' night sweetheart…" he tapped his face a bit harder then he intended. "Daddy had er long night."

Donnie sighed. "If you insist on coming home late, would you please be considerate enough to keep it down? There are others trying to rest. Our father is very sick and our baby brother has work tomorrow." He crossed his arms over his chest.

The larger turtle scuffed. "An' whatta bout you Donnie boy?" he placed both hands on either side of him. His body moving closer as a smirk formed on his face. "Were ya wait'en ta holler at me or…" he moved his beak to his ear slit. "Were yer so lonely ya wanted yer daddy?"

He pushed him away, causing his brother to stumble back and catch himself on the table. "Stop it, Raph. You are clearly drunk and I do not have the energy to deal with you. Just go to your room and sleep it off." He turned away and grabbed a fresh coffee cup. He hated when he was like this.

Hands snaked around him waist, pulling him close. "Oh, I'm not good enough am I?" he nipped at the back of his neck. "Yer want'en fearless…yer always wanted 'em but he wouldn't even look yer way."

The current leader clenched his jaw. Anger was building in him, yet he had to reminds himself that his brother was drunk and wanted to get a rise from him. "Go to bed." He picks up the pot of hot coffee and began to pour it.

"How many nights did ya touch yerself to 'im? How many times did ya call out his name before yer realized he never spared ya a second glance?" he pressed his body against the back of his brother. "Poor Donnie…always giv'en everyone just what they want…" he licked the back of his neck. "…never asken shit in return…fuck'en pussy…"

He slammed the pot of coffee down, shattering the glass and burning himself in the process. He didn't care though. Snapping his head up he pushed his brother back again, this time knocking him on his ass. "I said go to bed Raphael." He spoke in a firm commanding voice.

Oh the look in his brother's face was enough to know that he had crossed that thin line again. He was able to block the one hand but his exhaustion made him slow to respond to the second. The grip was painful as he tried to free himself. "Raph stop, you are hurting me."

A hard yank and he was pressed against his brother's Plastron, arm bent behind him at a painful angle. "I fuck'en hate that face…" he growled out. Using his free hand to grab his chin and force him to look into his eyes. "Ya look so much like 'im…make's me sick…" his hand snaked down his shell and to his ass. "Mine…"

Donnie didn't need this. He raised his hand fully intent on smacking some sense into his brother, yet before he could connect his wrist was caught. "Raph I love you, I really do but please…this isn't you and all I want is for you to go to bed…" he was dragged toward the lab. His heart pounding in his chest. "Come on, don't do this. Not again, you swore you wouldn't…"

"That was before ya tried ta hit me, before ya started to try and command me." He pushed him in and closed the door, locking it behind him. "I fuck'en hate when ya act like 'em. He don't love ya. He never did." He pushed the papers and components of his latest project off the desk in one swift movement. There was no doubt whatever it was is broken but he couldn't find it in himself to give a damn. "Easy 'er hard Donnie boy…"

"Raph just stop, go to bed and we can talk about this when you are sober, okay?" He knew it was a long shot. Whenever he was like this, he always over powered him. One of the many arguments on why he deserved to be leader. Yet, this very reason was one on why it was better that Donnie was.

The twin sais were removed from his belt, singing in harmony as he twirled them in the air. "I love when ya play hard ta get." He bolted at him.

He moved out of the way and ran toward his bo. Clutching it in he hands in time to push his brother back. "Enough Raph!" He was tired of his games. The sais sang with each thrust, even in his drunken state, he was still a skilled fighter. "Raph, I don't want to fight you."

His bow was split in two, one piece flying one way and the other in the opposite direction, leaving him open. A well placed kick sent him flying into the empty desk, soon his brother was on him. Pinning him to the desk with his weight, using his sai to pull the purple mask from his face, leaving a shallow cut on his temple that now bleed. Both his writs fit easily in one hand, allowing the other to tie them together with the stolen fabric. Once pleased that he would not escape, he turned him to face the desk.

Donnie felt his carapace press against his brother's plastron, his bound wrists were pulled over his brother's head, preventing him from moving much. Raph used his now free hands to lift those olive knees onto the desk, placing him in the delicious position where his cock would be perfectly in line with his cloaca. "Raphie please…"

A free hand snaked up his plastron and around his neck, giving a bruising squeeze. "Too little, too late…" he kissed the soft flesh on the side of his neck. "Besides…aint like yer a virgin."

Red eyes looked away. Locking on the half wilted roses on the table adjacent to them. His brother's gift and last broken promise to not put him through this again. Each time Raph got more and more aggressive. Marks remained from their last encounter and Mikey had even commented that he should talk to Raph about how dangerous the kinks were. Donnie would never tell his baby brother the truth. It would crush him and the team. What little their family had left was held by the thread of him calming his brother down by allowing him to use him like this. "So crude…"

The large rough hand slapped his ass, leaving a red mark in its shape that would no doubt leave a bruise in its place. "The bitch don't talk back Donnie…" he smacked him again, hoping to hear that strained voice cry out in pain. He smirked when he heard nothing. One of the many reasons he loved Don was that he was good at staying silent. It made it all the more challenging for him. "Shoulda put that fuck'en beak ta betta use." He grumbled to himself. "Could always do make ya clean me off…" he hummed at the thought.

He remained silent. Knowing it was a game to him. Raph listened to him in front of the others, followed his lead. Yet at times like this, when they were alone Raph took command. Ruling their coupling with an iron fist when it came to drunken Raph. When his brother started their mating, he was drunk most nights. Since then times like this were far fewer, much to his relief.

Sober Raph was preferred. He actually cared and was quite romantic. Often times going out of his way to romance him before taking him to bed. Sober Raph was passionate and caring. One of the many things he loved about him. Yet, nights like this often made times like those all the sweeter.

"No lube ta night babe, aint got the fuck'en patients ta prep." He smacked his ass again and heard his mate's breath hitch. "Mhmmm, knew ya wouldn't complain." Another slap, his olive skin was now an angry red. "I know how ya just love taken my thick cock up yer cunt." He pressed the tip against his slit, waiting for him to beg for it. "Come on, beg like I taught ya. Like a good lil bitch." When he got no response he huffed. The bitch hadn't even dropped down. Stubborn really. Another reason he enjoyed him.

A hand gripped his throat, squeezing it just enough to make breathing difficult. Breath play was one of Raph's favorite forms of torment. One he enjoyed because it cause his body to react against his will. His weakest point was his neck, longer then his brother's it was the one place on his body that drove the biggest reaction to stimulation.

Raph moved his beak to his neck, giving it a nice long lick with his tongue. A soft churr was his gift, making his cock twitch with excitement. "Mhmmm Donnie boy, love yer voice…" he pressed his beak to his soft pale neck and gave it a nice long suck. This time he got a strained churr, almost whining response. Much to his delight as he pulled away from the now formed hicky. A reminder to all of who the fuck owned him. "Ya make me weak Don…" his free hand grabbed his hip, the one on his neck loosened a bit. "Gonna fuck ya really good Donnie, I wanna hear ya…" he pulled his hips back, sheathing his thick cock inside his brother.

Donnie let out a choked sob. Closing his eyes tightly to try and will the pain away. It hurt a lot, but he knew it wouldn't last. It never did. He just needed to relax, breathe and it would be over soon. Drunken Raph never lasted long.

"Fuuuck Donnie boy…yer cunt is fuck'en tight…" his hand squeezed his neck, ensuring his mate was still able to breathe. "Gonna fill ya full of my cum…ya like that wouldn't ya bitch?" a slowly pulled out just to thrust back in. "Needed this…so fuck'en bad…"

His arms were pulled tightly, ensuring he couldn't get the proper leverage to escape. He was at the mercy of his mate. His breaths were strained because of the strong grip on his neck. The pace quickened, violently slamming his cock into his ass. Donnie clenched his jaw, trying to balance himself on the unsteady desk that shifted with each thrust. The hand on his hip was now biting into his skin, drawing small trails of blood.

"Gonna…cum…" his hips moved faster, slamming into harder with each thrust. The hand around his mate's neck tightened with bruising force, cutting off all airflow. "Oh take it baby…let daddy cum in yer tight lil…" he thrust one last time, burying himself balls deep in his mate. "CUNT!"

His body tensed, tightening around Raph's cock to urge him to cum faster. He was starting to lose consciousness. He needed to end it quickly and he successes. His mate coated his insides with his seed and after a few tense moments, his hold on his neck loosened. Slowly his arms were untied and he was dropped to the desk. His wrists were bruised and sore. Still he moved them to his neck, trying to relieve the pain on his skin.

A dark hand tapped his cheek, thumb tracing the purple colored streak on his eye. "Yer a good fuck Donnie boy. Ya did good." Donnie grabbed the hand, bringing it to his beak to kiss it. He didn't want him to go. He wanted him to stay even for a bit longer. "Cant stay, my fuck'en leader had ordered me ta bed." He smirked. "Besides, ya gotta mess ta clean up in da kitchen." He pulled his hand away earning a pitiful cry.

Red eyes watched as his mate left him there, bruised, in pain, and surrounded by scattered paper and his broken work. He sat up and hiss at the pain. His stomach turned as he felt his mate's seed slowly slide down his thighs. He looked at the calendar, noting that had it been next week that he would have been in trouble.

Reaching for the box of tissues, he cleaned himself up as best he could before he set to work on cleaning the broken electronics back on the desk. He gathered the papers and placed them in a neat stack, leaving himself a sticky note to reorganize them. From there he walked to the kitchen to get to work on the broken glass and spilled coffee.

He should have put a stop to it. He should have said no to him. Silent tears fell from his eyes as he whipped the coffee from the counter.

He couldn't say no because he loved him too much. Raph had saved him from himself nearly a year ago. Back when Leo left and the letters stopped. When Splinter sought to focus on him as a leader, often comparing him to his seemingly perfect brother while he could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. When his world seemed the darkest, it was Raphael who helped him find the light again. For that he would love him unconditionally.


	2. Unexpected Surprise

Work was hell. He was getting tired of the foolish people and what they deemed as tragic. My computer is frozen what do I do? My files are lost where do I find them? My program needs an update, how to I get it? Problem after problem he was able to solve with ease. Most just requite the IT cure all, the reboot.

He was relieved when it came to his lunch hour. Finally free of the calls for some time and able to move about, he grabbed his spare laptop and began to look at Mikey's schedule. It was slow today, only three parties. Mikey would be happy to get some rest from the kids who tend to take beating his ass to a whole new level. Going to the fund, he pulls out enough for gas for him and sets it on the printout of the schedules. From there he set the GPS in the van for each party to start automatically.

Making his way to the kitchen he set to make some lunch for his brother, hoping to keep him from being tempted from stopping at fast food again. He took some rice and placed it in the bento box April gave them last Christmas. Filling it with all sorts of his favorite foods and even vegetables. He then moved to sit out his brother's favorite cereal on the table with a bowl, spoon and milk. "Three…two…one…"

"FUCKKK!" his brother bolted out of the second floor room and ran down the stairs. "I don't know how I'll ever…" he stopped when he saw his brother there with a bento full of food, his favorite choco bites cereal and the papers for the parties. "Did you…"

"Yes." He replied, turning to clean his mess.

"And are the…" he was pouring the cereal in the bowl soon followed by the milk.

"Yes and Yes." Donnie set the bowls to dry. "I have everything ready for you, relax and take your time eating." He turned back to him and smile brightly.

"Did I ever tell you that you're the best brother ever?!" he wolfed down the easy meal and frantically looked about. "Dee! I forgot my Costume…"

"In the van passenger seat." He felt his brother hug him tightly. Instinctively he tensed, reminding himself this was Mikey, it had not helped.

"Thanks' Bro!" he grabbed his bento and ran off to the van. "Also it looks like you and Raph had a little fun last night, he got a little too rough again didn't he?" he purred in his ear. Donnie had no time to reply because Mikey and the van disappeared.

He sighed. It seemed like they saw so little of each other. Each member of their small family doing their own thing. Hardly like it had been those few years ago when they were new to the world outside the sewers. When they had been close and complete. His eyes cast to the side in sadness. Those days were long since dead.

Donnie made some tea, set the pills in the small cup and placed on the tray some soup. Their father was weak and frail. His health having gotten worse. He was hoping he could hold out, spring was nearly there and the weather would be warmer. Taking the tray, he walked to the dojo, ignoring the rule about no food or drink to bring his father what he needed. Each time he was scolded by his sensei, yet each time he left with an empty tray.

"Father, I have brought you some food for your pills." He waited for his father's voice before he opened the sliding door. He bowed before him, ensuring his head was low out of respect for the old rat.

He could hear the grunt of disapproval from his father. One that reminded him that he was never going to be good enough. He was no Leonardo. The cane was pressed to his chin, forcing his head up. Another disapproving grunt and a shake of his head. "You are a weak leader." His words were just as harsh as they were true.

"I try my best." He replied. Sitting up and setting the tray before his father. He took the kettle of tea and poured it in the cup. Every move he made was being watched carefully. Even the slightest mistake was going to cost him. There was already no doubt that he was going to be lectured. "I have your pills. Please eat before you take them."

He took the cup of tea, sipping it once. "Donatello, my son, you strive to make our lives easier by sacrificing yourself for us. While this is a good quality, it is also a very dangerous one. It is because of this that I forbid you from taking on missions and leading your brothers in fights. You are far from ready and it seems your brothers are becoming more and more restless."

The purpled banded turtle kept his head bowed. 'You are the reason your brothers are like this.'

"It is because of this lack of outlet that your brother Raphael has so much pent up aggression and takes it out on you. You clearly do not enjoy his…antics. Why do you allow it? You are the leader, what you say is an extension of myself. When you refused to defend your honor you refuse to defend mine."

'You are weak and dishonor me.' His red eyes looked up. His father was getting better. Still frail but putting on more weight than he had the past few weeks. It made him hopeful for the future, that their father would recover and beat this illness.

"When you allow him to mark your skin, you are showing him that he controls you. You submit so easily to him that he barely listens to you now. Raphael is not easy to manage but it is as if you are not trying at all to lead." He sighed and shook his head. "Leonardo knew how to handle him, I fear he does not respect you enough."

'Raph is the alpha, he walks all over you. Leo would never allow it. Why do you let him show that you are inferior?' Donatello took a deep breath, breathing out slowly as he looked up at his father. "I shall strive to be better. I admit I have slacked in my training to put more hours into your care and supporting this family. I will request less hours and spend more time training under your guidance." 'Was this what you desired to hear? That I would respond like Leo?'

A smile made it's way to his face. "I am sure with more training you will make a fine leader. Perhaps one that can lead against our many enemies."

'You need to be more like Leo, If you desire my blessing.' The rest of his lunch was spent like this. His father pointing out each and every flaw. Berating him for letting Raphael walk all over him, even saving Mikey from the consequences of his own actions. By the end of it he had the tray in hand, bowing to his father and apologizing. Promising to do better in the future.

"Leonardo will come home, have faith." He closed the door on him. 'I prefer Leonardo to you.' He stated at the sliding door for a long tense moment, half hoping his father would open it and tell him he didn't mean it, but the door remained closed.

Donatello clenched his jaw before turning slowly to walk away. Setting the tray in the sink before going to his computer to clock back in. There were not that many calls to reps, he had a few minutes to relax and think.

Raph was still asleep and would be for a few hours yet. Perhaps on his next break he could make him his favorite hangover food, something to help him jump back from that rough night. His favorite being mac n cheese, something simple even he could make. Mikey was the cook in the family and he was the best at it. Donnie was of course the worst. Simple things with easy directions he could follow were fine, but if he tried to make that Salmon dinner like Mikey had last night, he would never be able to do it.

~LRDM~

Donnie stood over the uneaten mac n cheese. He had made it during his final break, very close to when his brother usually woke up. When he hadn't come down he began to worry and went up to check on him. Lo and behold his brother had left again. Sneaking out of the lair when his back was turned with no regard for him and how he felt. He threw the food out, not wanting to look at it anymore.

He looked down at his shell phone, having asked Mikey why he wasn't home yet. He finally text back that he wanted to stop at April's to watch a movie, they had made plans to watch some chick flick but he forgot to tell him. He sighed heavily. Mikey wasn't one to go looking for trouble and if he was at April's watching a movie there was no harm done. He just reminded his brother to be more responsible and tell him. Mikey of course responded with an "Okay Mom!" something he learned from Raph. This made him frown. If only they really knew how much that annoyed him. Often made him wonder if they knew the truth.

Sitting at his desk he went through the papers that he had to reorganize. Setting them up just as he had before. Doing anything to keep his mind off of what his mate was doing right now that he needed to sneak out of the lair. What had he done now? He gave him control this morning. Let him hurt him to vent his frustrations. Taken his hatred and desire to feel loved. Listened to him berate him in order to feel better about himself only to be left alone feeling used. "Why does it hurt to love you…" he asked out loud.

He set the papers aside because he had finished. Yet it wasn't enough. He had more work to do and he was unable to allow himself to sleep. Slowly he peeled himself from the chair and walked over to the small box he kept hidden in the way back of his shelves. Inside were six electronic eyes, painted with a golden hue. Four bandanas with intricate wiring, blue in color to match the brother they were meant for. Behind that box, two robotic arms, accented in orange paint to ensure there was no mistaking who they were for.

"Is each choice I make the one that will lead me down that path?" he wondered to himself. He feared that future. The future where he disappeared from the family. What happened to the Donatello in that world he did not know, but he himself was not going to leave them. He would do all he could, suffer at their hands if it meant that he could prevent that future.

His hand shook as he picked up one of the eyes. It was a genius design, a comfortable fit that would hook to the optic nerve directly and allow ten times the better vision of a regular eye. It would be untraceable in electric scans and immune to EMPs due to the fail safe program. "Raphie…" he held the eye to his heart. Recalling what happened to his mate in that future. "I swear to you all I will never leave your side…no matter what you do. I will love you unconditionally."

He heard the tell tale sound of his mate coming home. His brows furrowed in confusion. Raph never came home this early. Perhaps he forgot something? He wasn't sure but he was going to give him a piece of his mind about leaving the lair like that.

He rehid the boxes, ensuring that none of them would find it. Turning on his heels he walked out of the lab, fully intent on telling his mate off only to see him and Casey trying to set the table up. It made him freeze in place when he heard Raph curse.

"Aw fuck…I wanted ta surprise ya." He blushed and turned away with a pout. "Told ya yer were too loud bonehead!" he cuffed.

"Listen, I didn't have to come down here to help you set this up, I can still leave and make Donnie help you." He wasn't going to do that. Hell he owed Raph for saving his sorry ass with April a few times.

Donnie was still frozen. Staring at them as they set up a table for two obviously using April's borrowed china set. A lacy purple table cloth laid under it. In the center a candle stick with purple and red candle that was cut into and swirled to look like hearts. The smell of expensive Italian food filled the lair, reminding him that he had skipped a few meals. "Raphie?"

Said turtle set the crystal glasses down and moved toward him. "Look I know yer probably pissed off I left da lair, I get that. I left ta get dist a get tagetha cuz I fucked up. I know I did last night and I know I'm sorry aint gonna fix it." He leaned over, grabbing a bouquet of rainbow roses. "I aint always so good with meh words, ya know dat right Donnie boy? I wanted take make it up to ya and…well I had been saven up a bit, scrapping my money together ta do something real nice for ya." His smile…oh his smile made his heart flutter in his chest.

He walked closer to him, standing at the bottom of the three steps leading to the lab, knowing he would have to look up to meet his gaze. Something he hated doing. "Donnie, I fucken love ya, and I know I fuck up a lot, I cant always help it. I cant always expect ya ta forgive meh but…I am try'en." He walked up the steps, moving closer to his lover only to see him take a step back. Hesitation…drunk Raph must have been a real prick last night. Judging by the look of the marks on his mate…he had it pretty rough. "God Donnie…I hurt ya didn't I?" he reached out his hand and cupped his brother's cheek. "I'm so fuck'en sorry…"

The moment his brother touched him, Donnie ran into his arms. Tears flowed from his eyes as he nuzzled his mate. "You have done nothing I cannot forgive." He said softly. He held him tightly, never wanting to let go. Even as he felt his mate return the hug with a stronger hold, he felt safest in his arms. He felt so loved in this moment. Wanted and appreciated.

The emerald skinned turtle pulled away, curling his finger under his chin. "Yer so fuck'en hot Donnie Boy…" he kissed him, beautifully, passionately, possessively. "I did all dis for yous. Come on…sit and enjoy it with meh. I wanna make ya feel special…like a princess." He scooped him up, earning a yelp in response. "So adorable." He cooed. He nuzzeled their beaks together. He was pleased with the churr his mate gave. "Come on, let's go 'n eat all dis food I got."

"Well ugh, glad to see everything is going well. With that I'll take my leave." Casey waved at them before he ran off. "Man…that damn turtle makes me look like I don't know the meaning of romance…" he scuffed. "April is gonna want some shit like this and I don't know what the fuck to do."

Raph set his mate down in the chair before pushing him closer to the table. He popped open the bottle he had before turning to show his brother. "Sparking." He said softly, knowing his mate didn't like to drink. He poured the glasses and smiled at him. "I ensured I got your favorite, chicken alfrado with garlic bread and for dessert terry-matsu…tearimattatto…territamatu…that espresso cake thing you like so much."

Donnie couldn't help but cover his mouth and giggle at the mispronunciation. "Tiramisu." He corrected. The blush that graced his lover's face was too cute. "You know me so well." He hummed, taking the glass of sparkling grape juice that was offered to him. "You didn't have to go through all this…"

"I wanted ta." He shot back. "Donnie, ya do alotta shit around here and we don't always say thank you. It is bullshit. So I wanna make ya feel loved and appreciated." He set the bottle down and picked up the spoon/fork thing to grab the alfrado to the plates.

Now it was his turn to blush and look away, his hands covering his face. This was…too sweet of him. To go through all this trouble to make him happy. To make him feel loved and appreciated. Going out of his way for this. It had to cost a pretty penny coming from a high end Italian place like Magiano's. Where Raph got the money he wasn't sure. Perhaps a loan from April and/or Casey? It seemed most likely but he didn't want to be rude and ask.

He felt the other's hands on his own, prying them from his face so he would look at him. "Aww…" he said softly, his face inches from his own. Donnie's red eyes gazing deeply into those golden orbs. "Just like dat first night I popped yer cherry." He slowly licked his lips at the memory of how shy his mate had been. He relished in the mortified look his mate gave as his face heated up. "I recall ya scream'en meh name dat night…"

"RAPHIE!" he was silenced with a strong hand capturing his chin, forcing him into a heated kiss. Upon reflex he opened his mouth, allowing his mate access to claim him all over again. No that it mattered. Donnie would only ever be with him and him alone. He loved his brother, his lover, his mate, his one and only. It was days like this, when Sober Raph made him forget the cruelty that he endured to drunk Raph.

He elder pulled away, licking his lips slowly. "Hard not ta throw ya on da table 'n fuck ya Donnie boy…" he ran his emerald thumb over that sexy beak of his, pressing his thumb gently into that warm wet cavern of pure pleasure. "God Damn it Donnie…ya mak'en me so hot for ya." He pulled away. Composing himself as he made his way to the chair. "Eat up, I can't wait ta show ya meh lil surpise fer later."

"Wait, you have more planned then this?" oh he was curious to know what that was. Perhaps he wanted to go to the rooftops to sit and look at the starts like he did on their first real date. When he told him all about the constellations and what they were name after. He wondered how much Raphie remembered. Or perhaps he was going to sneak away with him to the movies like on their third date. Raphie showed him the best place to watch new movies without being seen.

"Yer really excited over dis aint ya Donnie boy?" he was happy to see some life put back into him. He knew it was rough since fucking fearless left. Donnie had way more responsibility then him and Mikey and frankly it was starting to show. Don looked much older than them. Even though they were nineteen, Donnie looked as if he were in his mid- twenties. A sad fact that in such a soft time he could age so much.

"I am sure you have something amazing planned out." He took the fork and spun his linguini in it while using the spoon. "I mean it isn't like we get to be alone like this often and…I enjoy our time together." He lowered his eyes and smiled softly. "I love you Raphie, I really whole heartedly do." He took a bite of the food, closing his eyes at the delicious taste. He had wanted to try the food since April raved about it. She was right! The food was packed with flavor and melted in your mouth.

Raph hummed triumphantly. "I know ya do Donnie boy." That was the amazing thing about him. No matter how bad he got, Donnie still loved him not matter what. Hell its what lead to him drinking less. He hoped to one day stop entirely but he had been drinking well before he was sixteen. "Just eat up alright?" he shook his head and stabbed the fork in the pasta, not about the proper way Donnie was doing it.

They ate in silence but he didn't mind. Just being there with his mate, having a candle light dinner was enough. It was beautiful, romantic and perfect. The food was great and he was stuffed after he ate the tiramisu. He could hardly stand after that and he felt even more tired than he had before. He willed himself awake as he didn't want his mate to be disappointed at him if he fell asleep before the surprise.

"Mhhhhhm." Raph stood up, gathering his brother in his arms. "Come on Donnie Boy." He picked him up again, easily carrying him up the stair and to his room. Kicking the door open, the bed was littered with rose petals to match those from the bouquet he was given earlier. The elder brother set him down on the bed, turning to the extra candles to light them. On his desk he took one of the multicolored blossoms and held it in his hand. "I know ya said yer wanted ta seem 'em in person…" they were not cheap flowers. He set it in the back knot of his brother's mask. Once it was fixed, he pulled back to look at him. "Donnie…Yer fuck'en breath take'en." He narrowed his eyes, drinking in the sight. It complimented him so well.

"Raphie…don't stare…" he looked away, feeling self conscious about his looks. No matter how many times his brother told him he was gorgeous, beautiful, sexy or any other such adjective he never fully believed it. He never felt beautiful.

He was suddenly pushed against the bed. The soft warm glow of the candles the only thing that illuminated his mate. "Can't help it Donnie, I'm too focused on yous to pull meh eyes away." He cooed softly, nuzzling their beaks again. He pinned him there, under his weight to ensure he wasn't going to go anywhere. "Hard ta believe yer all mine." He ran his dark hand from his shoulder up his arm and to his wrist, locking it into the cuffs he had waiting. He felt him tense up. His ever curious red eyes questioning him. "Shhhhh." He cooed, doing the same with the second wrist. "Relax…let Raphie take care of ya."

His heart beat in his chest. The last time Raphie locked him like this, he had poured hot wax all over him. There was nothing satisfying about that, it hurt and left him with small red burns and even a few welts. "Raphie?" he questioned part of him unsure what he was planning. He trusted him, Sober Raph liked to experiment in the bed room. Always eager to try something new.

He leaned forward. "Close yer eyes." His breath was hot and wet against his ear hole, giving his mate's jaw line a nice long lick. "Mhmm, be a good boy Donnie." He could see the other was having a hard time with this. Clearly he had not enjoyed the hot wax last time but he intended to make it up.

Donnie obeyed. Closing his eyes and allowing Raphie to take control. Those calloused hands slowly roamed from his neck, down to his collarbone, lightly tracing the indents in his plastron, slowly going lower and lower until he traced his hips, running down his legs. Soon he felt his leg lifted in the air by those strong hands. Something was placed on it, it felt like a sock of some sort? Yet it went up past his ankles and to his mid-thigh…Oh god Raphie bought him fishnet stockings?! His leg was set down and the other taken, giving him that same sensation of the stocking slowly being pulled up to his mid-thigh.

"Gorgous…" his mate purred as he slowly traced the fabric. "The perfect accent ta yer long legs there Donnie boy…but we aint done…" he lightly touched lacy fabric to his fingers, allowing him to take a guess at what it was. "Come now, what do ya think it is?"

"It's lace…" he spoke softly. "A…blindfold?" he wasn't sure what it was. Knowing Raphie it could easily be anything.

A kiss was placed to the side of his head. "Nope." He popped the P sound. Indicating he was disappointed that he guessed wrong. "I'll be kind and give ya a hint, it's fer da loer part of ya."

Lower part? Oh please don't tell him Raphie actually got him a cock ring like he threatened to do. He swallowed thickly, before reasoning a lace cockring was not really a thing…was it? "A garter?" it would make more sense and match the fishnets better.

Raphie made a pleased sound. Cooing softly as he rewarded him with a kiss. "Such a smart boy." He slipped it on, looking over the sight. "Think I oughta get a collar ta match…" he nipped at his neck, causing Donnie to release a soft churr. "What do ya think bout that Donnie boy? Even make ya wear it ta train'en, show 'em all just who ya belong ta." He hummed at the pleasant thought. "Open yer eyes Don, look up."

Slowly he opened his eyes, only to see his reflection staring back at him. His breath caught in his throat. So that is what Raphie needed those tools for last week. He was able to see himself, all of himself. From the black straps that held his arms above his head to the black fishnet stockings and the black lace garter with the strip of purple silk on it. It was a unique sight to say the least. One he was not overly fond of. He hated how often his mate compared him to a female. Usually referring to his long legs and what he called dainty hands. He even said his hips curved like a female's.

He was well aware of how much of a difference in look he had to his brothers. Thinner, paler, taller, curvier. He was aware of all of that and it upset him that he was so different. While his hips were not overly curved like April's, it was noticeable on him compared to his brothers. Something that made itself known during puberty, along with a few other…abnormalities.

"Do ya like it?" he asked, gently rubbing his thumb over his beak as he cupped his cheek. "Did it fer you Donnie boy, so ya can see yerself just as I see ya." He nuzzled into his neck, taking in a deep inhale of his scent. "Mhmmm. Looks like mat'en season is close…." He hummed softly. "Gonna be our first tagether right Donnie?"

His heart sank. Was mating season coming earlier this year? A small part of him began to panic. They were usually able to tell it was close because their scents changed, but Donnie could not smell the change in Raphie. Was it just him? Was Rahie just messing with him? His heart raced in his chest. If it was close then this was dangerous. He couldn't risk it.

"Asked ya questions Donnie…" his hand snaked from his cheek to his thin neck, giving it a light squeeze, a warning that he expected answers.

"Y-Yes to both." He stuttered. His mouth suddenly dry. How was he going to get out of this. Clearly Raphie intended to fuck him, yet how could he prevent him from well…finishing in him? "Raphie…" he looked to him, allowing his eyes to show with a longing look. Perhaps if he played his cards right…he could fix this. "I'm still sore from last night…I know you had your heart set on…taking me but let me use my mouth tonight."

The elder turtle gently traced circles around his mate's throat with his thumb. He had plans to fill him while wearing those fishnets, he had wanted to pond into him, with those long legs draped over each of his shoulders. Yet the thought of fucking that sweet mouth of his…how could he refuse him? "Fine by me Donnie, only ya gotta be sure ya don't swallow so quickly. Ya know how I love ta see my cum fill yer sweet mouth." He purred softly, standing up so he could allow himself to drop into his hand.

His mate looked so helpless tied to the bed. Far from the high and mighty leader he tried to portray himself as. He knew Donnie was no Leo, far from it actually. Leo would give him the fight he wanted. Would cave and argue and even come to blows. Just took the right buttons and he knew which to press. Leo he understood well. Donnie was another matter. Soft spoken, gentle, kind, hard to read. He was passive aggressive as fuck and it irritated him to no end that his brother would never lash out like Leo did. He only ever turned his weapon against him in self defense. Donnie was smart, too fucking smart for his own damn good and he knew them all like the back of his hand. Ever silent, ever observant. He was the poster child for middle child syndrome. Often times forgotten in the background or over looked because of how quite he was. It was hard to get him angry, Raph had to really try to succeed and even then it was not the same as pissing off Leo.

Raph used to be unnerved by his brother's eyes. While Leo's were silver/gray, his a golden/amber and Mikey a baby blue, Donnie's were a fiery red. A color that was not very natural and in the darkness seemed to illuminate. Mikey had feared for the longest time the monster in the dark. Often times Raph recalled seeing it himself. The first time had him frozen in place, the first real time he recalled ever being terrified. Even now, he felt a twang of fear looking in those eyes. Fear that if he stared too long they would devour him.

"Like what ya see Donnie boy?" he slowly stroked himself. Knowing his leader loved the sight of him. His cock was thick and average length, according to Donnie when he asked him. Something about penis size to body ratio or whatever. He didn't know about Leo or Mikey, Donnie said it was classified, doctor patient confidentiality or whatever bullshit he said. Only Donnie knew who had the biggest cock. Compared between him and his mate, it was obviously him. The olive turtle's was thin and long. As embarrassed as he was to admit, he was the smallest of his brother's.

"Yes~" his mate's voice was beautiful. Watching him tug lightly at the cuffs sent a wave of sheer pleasure through him. He opened his mouth, waiting for him to fill him.

He breath out a breath he had been holding. "What do ya want Don?" he could hardly wait to fuck his mouth. A rare treat indeed as his mate felt he was rather poor at giving head. It was far from the truth, but Raph rather enjoyed his ass far more, so he wasn't one to complain. Especially, when Don was so willing.

"I want your cock in my mouth…I want to taste you Raphie…" he licked his lips slowly, sensually. Wanting to ensure his mate would not hold out much longer.

Oh he squeezed his cock, grunting as he did because his mate knew just what to say and how to make him go crazy. "Yer fuck'en kill'en me Donnie…" he calmed down, putting his cock close enough that his mate could reach the tip but nothing more. "Take it slow…"

His mate nodded, wasting no time in extending his sinful tongue to lick the head of his cock. No fucking feeling on earth could compare. Not the feeling of punching a Purple Dragon, slashing through a Foot Ninja grunt, nor even drawing blood from the Shredder himself compared to what Donnie's tongue could do to him.

He never thought he was good at this, despite what Raphie told him. It always felt awkward to him, even if his mate was churring, he thought it was all put on to make him feel better. He knew the underside of the penis was the most sensitive, so that is where he focused. It would have been easier if his hands were freed but he knew that Raphie wanted to make it difficult for him. His mate relished in challenges.

"Mhmmm Donnie boy…aint gonna last…" he shallowly rocked his hips, pushing his cock into the waiting mouth as that tongue swirled around the head of his cock. His hand made it's way to the back of his mate's head, wrapping tightly around the mask but being careful of the rainbow rose that was still there. "So good…" he moaned out, pushing his the olive head closer to his cock, forcing him to take more.

Donnie's mouth was full, but he tried his best to keep at it. Satisfying him with his mouth would spare him the consequences. He moaned against his mate's cock, yelping slightly when he felt a thick finger toy with his abused slit. His mate cooed and reassured him it was okay. That he wanted to make him feel good too. It did. Donnie was the weaker one sexually, a little coaxing and he dropped. His face a deep crimson as he felt his lover's hand take hold of him. His body reacted against his will, bucking into that strong hand.

"Always a good boy…" he cooed, pushing his cock deeper into his mouth. Still there was more that was neglected. Perhaps he could get Donnie to deep throat him tonight. That would be something. "Moan for me Don…I wanna hear ya…"

He did as he was told, moaning against his cock as the pace slowly quickened. He wanted to call his lover's name. Wanted to let the world know who his heart belonged to but for now he was pleased to provide him pleasure. With each trust it seemed his mate was going deeper and deeper. Part of him wondered how deep he wanted to go, there was always a portion of his cock he could not take, but it seemed he was determined to get him to go balls deep.

"Take me…all of me…" he was tired of going slow. Tired of the pace, so he thrust in, feeling his brother gag around his cock. His eyes rolled in the back of his head. "Ugh…Donnie! Just like dat…take me…" his hips began to move, each thrust bringing a choked gag from his mate but the feeling around his cock was just too good to stop. "Remember da safe word Donnie…if it's too much just say it…"

Tear filled his eyes as he struggled to breathe. His mate was suffocating him with his cock, too unaware to stop himself. With hands bound, throat being slammed into, there was no way to signal that he was going too far. He had to calm himself, moaning around his cock wasn't doing anything but spurring him on. There was a small moment between thrusts that allowed him to take in air through his nose. All he had to do was time it with the speed of the thrust and he was set. Shallow and short, Donnie was able to inhale and exhale between trusts, fully able to take his mate's abuse and not suffocate in the process.

"Donnie!" His pace quickened, hand holding that head firm as he slammed into him, each thrust deep and powerful. He wasn't going to last, he knew this, but damn it he was gonna try. He tried to move his hand with his pace, trying hard to get the younger turtle to cum first. It wouldn't be hard, Donnie was still so new to all this, he had little stamina. "Cum fer me Donnie boy…Let me see ya make a mess of my bed…"

He moaned his mate's name despite it being mangled by the thrusting. He felt himself reach his orgasm arching his back as his vision went white. Each continued thrust from his mate making him churr around his cock.

"Donnie…Donnie…Fuuuuuckk." He pulled out just enough so his cum would coat his mouth and not his throat. Keeping his end of the promise that he was going to see the white salty liquid in his mouth. His cock twitched with each spray, coating him more and more with his claim. That sinful tongue still licking at his cock. "So good ta meh…" he was panting heavily, pulling his flaccid cock from his brother's mouth. He smirked at the sight; there was more than last time when they did this. So much more that it was running down his brother's mouth. Looking into those half lidded eyes he could see they had reached their limit for the night. Donnie had warned him of going past their limits.

He hated the salty taste. Hated how he swore he could feel each and every sperm swilling in his mouth. Yet it was what his mate desired and a far smaller price to pay then what would happen if these little bundles of DNA were entered through where nature intended. "Swallow…" he did as he was told. Swallowing them and ensuring they never cause him problem again. "Good boy Donnie…" his tired eyes looked up at his mate. Smiling softly as he felt that warm, calloused hand against his cheek. "What do ya want now Don?"

"Hold me?" he asked. His voice was soft, sweet and laced with love. "Til I fall asleep?"

Raph smiled down at him. His heart racing in his chest at how innocent his brother seemed. How childish the request. "Alright, after I clean ya up okay?" he reached over and grabbed the baby wipes they kept near by. He was gentle as he cleaned his brother's shell, happy to see that even he got to experience such a sensation. Tossing the soiled cloth aside, he slowly undid the cuffs, allowing his brother freedom.

It took no time for Donnie to pull him close. Nuzzling against his neck. "I love you so much Raphie…" he hummed, curling against him. He wrapped his arms around him. Cooing softly in his ear.

"I love ya too Donnie." He kissed his forhead lightly. "How much do ya love meh?" he asked. Chuckling as he did.

He looked up at him, hand cupping his brother's dark cheek to look down at him. Their eyes met as he searched them. "Unconditionally."


	3. Return

"I'm going to the junkyard today." He informed his brother's over breakfast, one of the few times they were together like this. Given mating season was coming he had advised that Mikey put his job on hold and that Raph sleep at a normal time so that they could prepare. There was a lot to get done and a sort time to do it.

His mate scuffed. "I told ya I don't like ya out there." He huffed and ate the pancakes Mikey had made. Glaring at him. It was no surprise he didn't like him leaving. Raph had said many times that he was weak and helpless without them. That he wasn't observant enough to go on his own and if he was hurt or killed then what?

"We talked about this. You leave and go above ground and so does Mikey. I do not make it a habit because I have to watch over sensei and work." He sipped his coffee, the last he was going to get for a while. "Besides, I need parts for the Shellraiser before we head to the farm house for the season." He didn't need his help. He was capable of going and coming back without issue. He had done so before. It was his only time that he was truly alone to think with a clear head.

Mikey looked down at the untouched pancakes. "Not feeling well again?" he asked. Around mating season Donnie usually ate less. Why they were never sure but Donnie assured them it was just how the season affected him. Each had their own little quarks about them during this time. He was more handsy, Raph far more aggressive, Leo was confrontational and Donnie more timid.

"Two fuck'en hours, that's all ya get before I leave da lair and drag yer ass back and that is from da time ya walk through those doors." There he was, putting his foot down. He was always like this. Whenever he was out, Raph seemed to worry that he was doing stuff behind his back.

"Pfft, you cant tell the Leader what to do Raph." Mikey was getting sick of him telling Donnie what to do but when Donnie did it to him they argued about it. Hell he was sure Raph was hitting him, but when confronted about it Donnie told him not to worry. Well he was very worried about what the hell was going on, but he would keep back, if for Donnie's sake.

Donnie sighed. "Fine." There was no use arguing with him. Not when he was like this and the look in his eyes was showing that the last few days he had refused him were building up. Thankfully Raph hadn't been drinking, too busy preparing for the two week long trip to the farm house.

Raph smirked in triumph. Clearly the leader was already being worn down by the upcoming season. No matter, it meant that he would be able to do what he wanted. Donnie was more cooperative during mating season, almost as if he was submitting to them and what they say without realizing it. Oh this was going to be a fun first season they share together.

Standing up, Donnie moved the empty cup to the sink and began to clean it. His mind rushing over reasons why they couldn't mate. The only real reason he could come up with was that Mikey was there, but Raph wasn't one to care. Last time his mate bent him over the sofa and he mentioned Mikey, he told him he wouldn't mind if their little brother watched them. That had sent a shiver down his spine at the time, to think of someone seeing him like that…

He turned to look back at them. "We are leaving tomorrow night. Whatever is not in the van stays. No one leaves the lair until I come back." He looked to Mikey. "I set Sensei's pills to the side, can you bring him breakfast today?" he watched as his brother nodded his head with a mouthful of pancakes. "Thanks."

~LRDM~

He wiped his brow as he finished the soldering. It was getting hot as the seasons changed, thankfully he got the air conditioner back up and running before they left. This way their father would be comfortable while they were away. He looked at the clock, half past seven. The sun would be down by now. Standing up, he stretched his arms before turning to grab his bo.

There were the tell tail signs of his mate approaching. He really didn't need this right now. He had to get to the junkyard and back as soon as possible so he could fix the Shellraiser. "Raphie…" his wrist was yanked, forcing him back into his brother's plastron. The grip was tight and painful as the second hand wrapped around his neck, squeezing tightly.

He felt the warm wet breath of his mate ghost past his ear. "What did I say Donnie boy?" his voice was low and dripped with venom. "About bitches talking back?" his nails dug into the soft flesh of the neck. "Ya lucky…oh so lucky dat Mikey is here…else I'd have half a fuck'en mind ta remind ya of yer place."

He struggled, lips moving in an attempt to plead for air. He was pissed, there was no denying it. Donnie had snapped back at him earlier when he said he didn't want him to go to the junkyard. He told him he would go anyway, regardless of what he said. Raphie didn't like when he talked back, especially in front of Mikey. It made him look weak. Raphie hated weak.

Pressing his dark beak to the back of his brother's neck he took a sharp inhale of his scent, grip on his throat loosened enough to allow him to gasp for air. "Smell'en good Donnie…" he pulled on his wrist, pinning it between their shells so he could free that hand to grab his waist and yank him closer. His mate's tail blocking that beautiful hole. "Don't be shy now Donnie boy…you deserve a good fuck ta remind ya who ya belong ta."

The olive hand pulled at the one on his neck. "Raphie, later please…I have too much to do and we are running out of time…" his brother pushed him onto the desk, bent over allowing him full access to his ass. The hand that was in the front of his neck now rested behind it, keeping him down with superior strength.

"Past few days ya been boss'en me around. Think ya a good leader like Leo?" he ground against him. "Don't fuck'en like being told what ta do…not by 'im…" he leaned over him, hand yanking at the knot of his mask, pulling his head up to look at him. "And not by no weak bitch like yous Donnie boy."

"I know Raphie…I'm sorry…We just don't have much time…if the season hits early…we need to be out at the farm house…" his head was pulled back further, causing him to grunt in pain. "I'll make it upto you I promise. You have been doing so good by not drinking, I'm proud of you." He meant it, every word of it. Raph hadn't been drinking. He had been listening but he could see now he wasn't at all happy about it.

"Don't wanna hurt ya Don." He hummed softly, loosening his grip. His hand lovingly rubbed the back of his head, soothing the angry red marks where the purple mask had dug into his olive skin. "Purple maybe ya color, but red matches ya so much betta." He kissed his neck, nuzzling into it as he cooed softly. "I wanna fuck ya inta da desk Donnie, but I can wait." He pulled away, letting his brother get up. "Two hours. If ya aint back im com'en afta ya. If ya fuck'en around on me…" he slammed his sai into the desk near his brother's face. "I'll kill da bastard."

Donnie stood up, turning to face his brother. His eyes were hurt, twisted in sadness. "You think I would ever cheat on you? Raphie, I could never…" he ran to him, hugging him tightly. "I love you! Only you." He looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "I don't want anyone else."

Raph cupped his cheek, wiping away his tears. "I know, but ya can never be to careful." He smiled and watched as his brother returned it. "How much do ya love me Donnie boy?" he touched their beaks together.

"Unconditionally." He kissed him, pouring all his love into that kiss and hoping that Raphie could feel it. He loved him. Even when he was like this, even when he showed his true colors like this, a side he showed only to him because he felt the most comfortable with him. Donnie forgave him, he loved him and he understood him. From the sweet and tender side to the beast of a drunk he could be. Donnie would bear it, because it was his fault he was like this. His fault that he was a weak leader and Splinter didn't let them go on missions. His fault that Raphie didn't have an outlet for his natural aggression save for drinking. He could bear it, because it is what he deserves for failing his team, his family, his mate.

~LRDM~

The night air was warm and wet from the recent rains. The rooftops were slick, so he had to be more careful as he made his way across them. He didn't need to think, just to run and let his legs carry him. He skid to a stop, hearing a small commotion down the alley. He stayed low and listened. Purple Dragon initiation. Nothing he hadn't seen or heard before but they usually didn't start that until the start of summer. Were they that badly in need of members to start this early in the year or was this one an exception? He wasn't sure but he would make a note of it. Things like this were not to be taken lightly.

He continued on once he was sure he wasn't being followed. Moving swiftly through the city toward his treasure trove of goods. He always got excited when he was able to come out and search the piles for things they needs, sometimes finding things that would make their lives easier, like the room heater just before last winter that now resided in their father's room. Where his brother's seen piles of junk, he saw endless possibilities.

The edge of the junkyard was in sight. Looking down at his shellphone he was able to see he had plenty of time to search the piles for what he needed before his mate would come looking.

'If ya fuck'en around on me…I'll kill 'im.' Raph's threat was well received but it didn't make it hurt any less. This isn't the first time he said such things and he was sure it was far from the last. There was a small time when he spent too much time with Mikey, working with him on how to organize his parties and plan for them, that his mate assumed he was sleeping with their brother. It had taken everything he had to stop him from tearing into Mikey for the supposed affair. It had resulted in several days of discomfort for him, limping and bruises. As least Mikey was safe.

He moved past the fence and into the car section, searching for the parts he needed to repair the Shellraiser. He slowly picked through the parts, using his magnified goggles to take a better look at the parts. He tossed those that he couldn't use in a pile, while those he could were carefully placed in the duffle bag.

There was once a time when they all came here to scavenge. To find what was needed for the lair or even things they could play with. It's how Mikey found that meowing cat cookie jar. How Raph found that weight set. Even how Leo managed to find books about past wars. They used to all be so excited to go and see what they could find. Those days became fewer and fewer until it was just him.

A smile graced his features as he remembered when Leo slipped on a banana peel and fell in the mud while carrying a huge stack of books. They all laughed when he tossed a chunk of mud at Raph and hit him square in the face, thus starting the junkyard mud battle. They were all covered in mud as they carried their treasures back to the lair, laughing so hard their sides hurt.

He missed those days.

He missed being whole.

There was a metallic clang behind him. Quickly, he drew his bo and stood in defense. His eyes scanning the area for signs of an enemy. He was only greeted by the whistling of the wind, soon followed by the caw of a raven as it flew from where the sound had come from. Slowly he let his tension die, staying in position a few moments longer before turning back to the treasures.

Once or twice he had found his mate following him. Once or twice he had argued with him that he didn't need watching. He was able to defend himself. Once or twice his mate became physical with him, telling him that it didn't matter because he was weak. He hoped this was not a third time. Raphie had promised after the last time he had gotten caught that he would not follow him. That he needed to work on his trust.

Trust was hard for his mate. After Leo left he had promised to write often, when the letters went unanswered, that trust was broken and his mate became angry and bitter. He was hurting. While they fought often, Raph and Leo were close as brothers. Always so close that each could nearly guess what the other was thinking just by their looks. Donnie had picked up on their small language. Had learned the queues.

When Leo left, when the letters stopped. There was little to console Raph.

"At least the letters mentioned him." He muttered. Most of the letters mentioned them all by name, all but Donnie. Sometimes he would send one envelope, each with a letter written for them. He would wait hopefully each time. Each time there was nothing left for him when Mikey, Raph and Splinter had theirs in hand. He would blow it off as if it were nothing. That Leo was just busy and there wasn't much to say to him about anything. Even when Donnie wrote to him. Leo never wrote him back.

'It's your fault he left!' Raph had been drunk when he said it, but it didn't make it any less painful. 'Because ya confessed yer love ta 'im. Ya made 'im so sick he ran off ta get away.'

It had been before they became mates. When the letters stopped. Donnie believed the words. Donnie knew he was the reason. All because of what he had said. He would never forgive himself for that. For what had happened when they spoke and even more so now that Leo had been gone for nearly two years.

He held his chest as it tightened at the memory. The same gut wrenching feeling he felt then when it took him months of building up his courage to speak with him. The next night he had left. Saying good bye to everyone but him. They never said it aloud, but it was well known that he was the one to blame.

Yet, at the same time if that hadn't happened, he wouldn't be as happy as he was with Raphie. They wouldn't be mates now if he had not gone to Leo, if Leo hadn't left. As morbid as it was, part of him was thankful for it. Even if he left him, even if he didn't write him, even if Splinter would never look at him as he did Leo…he could bare it all because he had his Raphie. He would love him unconditionally.

It didn't take long for his messenger bag to become heavy. The hall this time was quite well given it was at the end of the month when manufactures dumped the items they couldn't sell. A lot of the stuff was pretty new, he even found some things in the packaging. All in all he was having a decent night. One he hadn't had in quite some time. Yet, as his luck would go, he got a text from Mikey.

Yo, bro you HAVE to come home! – Mikey

He narrowed his eyes.

Is it Raph? What did he do now? – Donnie

You just gotta come home – Mikey

He sighed heavily, putting his shellphone back on his belt before taking one last look at the Junkyard. Who knew when he would be able to go back. For now, he had to go back home and deal with things. As the Leader, if Raph misbehaved, he would be punished for it. No that he really cared. He just wanted to be sure no one got hurt.

The heavy bag weighed him down some, causing him to move slower then he normally would have. This only made Mikey's texts more frantic, causing him to become more and more afraid of what he might find at home. Once in the sewers, he dropped the messenger bag and took off at full speed down the tunnels.

Dee! You need to get home now! – Mikey

Where are you? – Mikey

Are you okay? Is something wrong? Why aren't you answering?! – Mikey

I'm fine, nearly home sit tight – Donnie

He pushed himself to move faster, running faster then he had in a long time. For once he was grateful he was blessed with long legs, this made his strides quicker, allowing him to round the corner of their home, bo drawn and eyes white. Ready to engage whatever would dare to hurt his family. Be it Raph throwing a tantrum at Mikey, or Mikey playing with Metalhead and activating his security protocol, he was ready for anything.

Anything but what he seen.

Panting heavily, he looked to his brothers, both smiling with bright smiles. Sensei was out of bed laughing and patting the leaf green skinned shoulder. Slowly, the other turned, looking to him with an unreadable gaze and a smile that never reached his eyes. Donnie knew those eyes. Donnie knew them far too well and to see them after all this time. Those same silver eyes that he last remembered were twisted in disgust at him.

"Hello, Donnie." His voice was still so smooth, sounding slightly older. His jaw was more profound, muscles now rivaled his own mate and was he…taller? Leo was looking every bit the young turtle he was destined to be. The look of a real leader.

He relaxed his stance, dropping the bo to the ground. No…no he couldn't be here. Not now, not this close to mating season. Why now of all times? He was frozen in place, even as his brother moved to him. Donnie could only summon courage to step back. "Leo…" he choked, unable to say his first name as he intended to.

His elder brother chuckled. Standing only a few feet from him. Yeah, defiantly taller. "I missed you too little brother…" he put his foot on the first step and Donnie couldn't do this. He wasn't ready for it and no matter ho many times he had spend thinking over the responses, he couldn't face him. Those eyes…he didn't want them to look at him with such distain anymore.

So he did what any bitch would have.

He ran.


	4. Rooftop

His lungs burned with the cool night air. Body trembled as he tried so hard to clam his breathing else he slip into a panic attack. His legs shook from the effort of running as fast and as far as he had. Having gone blocks upon blocks away from their home only to press himself against the wall of the roof as he slid down to press his head against his knees.

Why did he have to come back…right before mating season? Was it some sick joke? Why was he smiling as if he were happy to see him? He didn't care about him, Donnie knew that much from the lack of letters and from the night he left. Yet, it was easier to forgive him when he wasn't there. When he didn't have to see his face, when he didn't have to hear that voice or look into those ever sharp silver eyes.

Why now?

Why now?

Why now?

He buried his head in his legs, arms wrapped tightly around his body, hoping he could hide from his brothers who had called out to him when he ran. No doubt out searching for him. Their father would be quite disappointed in him for having run from their eldest brother, the leader, heir and favored. Yet he just couldn't face him. Even after two long years he couldn't face him after what had been said the night he left. All the hurtful things Leo told him and how painful it had been to hear such cruel fall from his lips.

Donnie loved all his brothers.

Yet, Leo he loved so dearly that the moment he saw him, he was instantly reminded of how much he still felt for him.

He felt as if he was dirty and unclean for these feelings. That Raphie would not be happy to knew he still harbored such feelings for their brother who clearly gave no care for him not to even send letters home with his name upon them. Raphie was his mate. Raphie was the one who was there when he needed him and it was Raphie who stopped him from doing the unthinkable.

Disgusting.

Vial.

Horrid.

Sinful.

Dishonorable.

He recalled those words and more. Each one clear as day laced with the venom that Leo had now as he did when he spoke them two years ago. When Donnie confessed his love. When Donnie had torn the family apart.

Tears flowed freely from his eyes as he tried to choke back the sobs. Why did it have to hurt so badly? Why couldn't he just bury it deep within him like he had before? Why couldn't he get that smile out of his mind? He covered his mouth as he choked, starting a coughing fit as he began to panic again. Why was Leo smiling at him? Why was Leo acting as if he truly cared about him? Why did it give him so much damn hope that it made his heart ache?

Unconditionally. That is how much he loved his mate and yet…he still harbored so many complicated feelings for Leo that he felt as if he were betraying his mate with such thoughts. Thoughts that he believed long dead now raising again with the memories of his younger self, day dreaming about holding hands, hugging and dare he ever think such vial thoughts again but kissing their eldest brother.

Hopeless.

Helpess.

Mating season was here. It had to be the cause. He always got overly emotional around this time. When he felt his body changing and…he wrapped his arms around his belly. When he had to conceal the truth from them. Even from his own mate. What would Raphie think if he knew? Raphie would leave him. There was no denying that. As much as Raphie loved him he wanted him because he thought he was male. Not because he was attracted to females. He said he loved how tall he was, how long his legs were, how cute his gap tooth made him seem. He loved him…not her. Had Donnie been given the chance he could had told Raphie before he chose him as his mate. That he was not as he seemed but…

His breath caught in his throat, trying hard not to think about how they came to be mates. Raphie was angry at him and Donnie deserved what happened. He belonged to Raphie, mind, body and soul. Yet, if Raphie knew…he would reject him. He would hate him. He would leave him all alone again with his thoughts and Donnie couldn't have that. Thoughts lead from one thing to another and it wandered down a dark path that he dared not to tread. A path that lead to the unimaginable and the dark future that he recalled. Where his brother's bodies laid mangled before him, their blood staining Shredder's stone floor and he stood as the lone survivor.

"No…" he choked out. Shaking his head quickly from side to side. He couldn't let that future happen. At all cost. He had to stay here. He had to endure. For the world. For New York. For Casey. For April. For their father. For his brothers. He had to stay because he was the only thing that vanished in that future and that…that was what triggered the events of that future. He was not there to save them. Only he could stop it, just by being here, just by existing, he kept that future in check.

"You know…it isn't very polite to run off like that."

Donnie kicked off the wall, turning to face his leaf green brother as he grabbed for his bo, only to find air in its place. He cursed himself for forgetting it back at the lair where he dropped it. He kept his distance, even as Leonardo stood atop the roof where he had perched above him, soundlessly. The height of perfection in the art of Ninjato.

Leo tilt his head. Nothing his brother's form from head to toe. He was hardly the turtle he had left him as. He was paler, thinner, quieter. He had yet to hear him speak. Had yet to see him smile. All he had was tear stained eyes and a heaving chest that seemed so ready to shatter at the slightest touch. Donnie had always been the quiet and shy brother. Always with his head buried in a book or looking shamelessly gazing at the stars. Never taking his training seriously. From what he had read in the letter's from their father, even as a leader Donnie was lacking. He had tried, there was no denying that. Yet, even so…he could see so very much had changed.

"Even after all this time you still have nothing to say to me?" he jumped down, again landing silently upon the rooftop. He watched as his brother backed away. That would only get him so far. If he wasn't paying attention, which he was sure he wasn't, he was going to hit a wall.

Silence. Donnie was guarded. Struggling to keep his breath in check, his eyes locked on him, watching for any movement that was going to cause him to turn and flee. Needless to say it had taken Leo quite some time to find him. When Donnie didn't want to be found it was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Yet there was one thing that gave him away. One he doubted even Donnie knew about. The sweet intoxicating scent that filled the air, surrounding him in pheromones for the upcoming season. Mixed with the scent of another, the smell of which made him wrinkle his nose. Raph…

"I shouldn't expect you to answer. You are the leader now." He lowered his head, showing submission, for now. The change was never spoken. Just because he returned, it did not make the transition immediate. Perhaps Donnie had thought that so. After all, each knew how their father preferred him over the others. A fact that never sat well with him. A father should never favor one child over another. His eyes narrowed. Their father loved his secrets, he loved his plans and manipulations. He raised his head and moved closer. Donnie took two steps back. Curious. Even after showing submission to a higher rank, Donnie was forgoing it. Did he hate him? He could hardly blame him for what happened back then, but there was far more to the story then Donnie needed to know.

There was just a split second opening and he took full advantage of it. When his brother looked to the side to see how far away from the next roof he was, Leo took that time to strike. Moving swiftly, he pinned his brother's carapace to the wall, trapping him between his arms and locked him within. He was stuck, unable to move or flee if he wanted to without a fight and it didn't look like he was prepared for anything more then to run. Even in this position, his younger brother kept his head turned away, cast down at the ground. He was doing all he could to avoid him and it was clear as day. It was irritating.

"Donnie…" Leo began.

"Donatello." He corrected not looking up at him. Oh that was infuriating. The first thing he heard from him in almost two years was to correct how he referred to him and used his full name. Either forcing respect or keeping distance, perhaps both. Either way, it pissed him off. He had to keep clam though. Reminding himself that they had left off in poor standing when he left.

"Donatello," he spoke as his leader had commanded. "I know you are angry…that you have every right to be with what happened…" he watched as his brother shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head before dropping under his arm to try and run. Leo held him in place, taking his ninjato blade and stuck it in the wall, blocking him in. "You maybe leader, but I am still your elder. You will do well to remember that. Do not turn from me." His voice was stern. He sounded older, wiser.

The younger turtle did not obey. He kept his eyes cast down and pressed his body as close to the wall as he could. Knowing him, he was probably trying to figure out a way he could phase through it if it were possible. Still…he looked so small and helpless. Like a frightened and cornered mouse. Even before they had their fight, he never acted like this. What had happened since he left? What had their father done?

Still he refused to answer, refused to look at his brother because he knew the moment he did…he would submit to those eyes. He would never go as far as to betray his mate, Donnie loved Raphie. He would love him no matter what. There was nothing Raphie could do that would turn him away from him. Not even for Leo.

"Donnie…" he began again, frustration in his tone. "What I said…"

"Do not…" he cut him off. Keeping his eyes lowered. "Do not start…I shouldn't have run, I'm sorry. I was just…not expecting you." He closed his eyes. His hand raising to his chest to keep his brother from advancing any closer then he was willing to allow him. "I should have faced you, greeted you and welcomed you home…" he bit his lip. Emotions threatening to raise. He had to do this. He had to make peace. Leo…he was blind in the future…those sharp silver eyes dulled, never seeing the world ever again. Eyes…he designed him new ones…just in case…yet those eyes…

'I'll always protect you.' The voice of a much younger Leo rang in his ears. He recalled him, so young, holding out his hand to him. His silver eyes ever so gentle as he helped him raise.

Donnie summoned all his strength and courage. He had to do it. For everyone…he had to ensure that future never happens. Only he could do that. He was the variable that turned the tides of war. So, he thought of times before that fight. When the family had been whole. When he felt his brothers were always together, laughing and playing. His head rose, slowly opening his eyes to see his brother's face so close. There were new scars, his skin was slightly darker from the tropical sun. Yet those eyes…he smiled. They were the eyes of that same tot that had vowed to protect him. "Welcome home…Leonardo."

The elder was taken back. The look in those red eyes…how even after everything that shown to beautifully. So full of the kindness he recalled with a gentleness about them only Donnie could manage. That smile, it made his eyes shine all the brighter and he could hardly stand it and the sweet intoxicating scent that radiated off of him. "Don…" reaching up to cup his cheek when he was forced to pushed back, just avoiding the sai.

Raphael jumped down to retrieve it. His amber eyes glaring threateningly at him. "Ya found 'im, now fuck off!" he snapped. "I'll show pleasantries before pops but I aint gonna fuck with ya com'en near 'im. Privileged fucker."

Oh, so that was what was going on? Donnie was shying away from him because of Raph. That would explain the scent but yet, did that also mean that they were mated? The thought alone made his blood boil. Was Donnie so quick to run to Raph's arms or was there far more to the story? He wasn't sure but he would get down to it. He would shake this family to the very core if he had to. All in time. "Protective of your Leader? You never gave me such dedication."

"I wasn't screw'en ya." He smirked at the look he got in return. A mixture of shock before his features flashed with anger and…a tint of jealousy? Oh…so he was right. Perhaps Leo was tired of being a virgin and decided to fuck the only one willing to be with his sorry ass. Well…he was almost a year too late for that.

"Raphie!" What the heck was he doing? Drawing a weapon against Leo and now openly admitting that they were mates in such a vulgar way?! Donnie was upset but not angry. Perhaps Raphie was just upset because he was? Yet, his mate shot him a warning glare, one Donnie knew better then to ignore.

The sai pointed at him. "Shut yer mouth Don, bitches don't get ta talk back, remember? Besides, Alphas are talk'en." He looked back at Leo when his mate snapped his mouth shut. Donnie knew well enough not to fuck around when he gave him a fair warning. He expected Leo to come back eventually. He knew Don still had feelings for their elder brother and well, he wasn't about to watch his mate throw out the best thing they both had going for them.

Leo crossed his arms, his eyes showing this deep disapproval. "That is no way to talk to one's mate…" shifted his weight to his other leg and looked to Donnie, seemingly at war with himself on what he should do. What the hell had happened while he was gone?

"Oh but call'en ya brotha such nasty shit as ya did before ya left was?" he spat back. "I didn't tell 'im he was vial, disgusting, sinful or what the fuck else ya said to 'im. Ya fucked 'im up real good Leo ya know that?" he was getting angrier now. Oh he remembered it all quite well.

The elder scuffed. "So he told the family…"

"He didn't fuck'en have ta, ya were yelling loud enough! Hell even Mikey knew da shit ya were spewing. So ya aint in ta fuck'en guys, so what, didn't have ta pull that shit." He spun his sais. Trying to keep from carving him a new asshole. Donnie would give him hell about it if he did. Just like when he and Mikey got into it, Mikey got hurt and he never heard the end of his mate's nagging about it.

"So…Your pissed about that…which happened 2 years ago?" he tapped his arm and shook his head. "I thought I knew a lot then, I was wrong and I have come ta make amends for it. I wanted to apologize."

Donnie looked to Leo with large hopeful eyes. Perhaps he couldn't write it in a letter. Perhaps he had been planning from the start to say everything face to face. It would seem the more honorable thing to do, especially for Leo. He took a step forward but was forced back by a shuriken.

"Stay right the fuck where ya are!" Raph snapped. He turned to Leo and moved toward him. "Listen, I know why you came back and it aint gonna happen. Donnie is MINE, ya hear me? Sorry about ya luck and getting yer dick wet for this mat'en season cuz while yer crank'en it ta a porn mag, I'll be balls deep in Donnie's tight ass." He pushed him back, standing as tall as he could even though Leo stood taller.

"RAPHAEL!" Donatello's voice was raised now, his emotions clearly displayed upon his face and he knew he would pay for this later. Yet, he was leader still and he was not going to stand for him talking like that. He moved to them, stepping between them to prevent a fight and his eyes were facing his mate. "I will not allow you to get that far if you keep running your mouth as if I have no say!" He looked at him, something Raph hated more then anything and he was sure to pay for later. "Back down, now. As your leader I will it so." He Stepped forward and Raph growled challenging him. Donnie didn't back down and growled back.

Sais were placed back in his belt and he yanked his mate down. "If I so much as smell him on you…I'll make sure you regret it!" nipped his neck before backing down. He pulled away and vanished over the side of the roof.

He was already going to regret this, what did it really matter that he stood up to him? Donnie sighed heavily, lowing his head. Why did things have to be so complicated? Why did Raphie have to be so jealous? He was never going to leave him. Raphie was his everything, cant he see how much he loved him?

"He's toxic. This whole relationship…does he hurt you?" Leo's voice shown with concern. He moved to touch him but Donnie ensured he couldn't. He kept his face unreadable, yet how Raph talked about him and to him suggested he did. "Donnie, If he is hurting you once I become leader I will…"

"You will what? Put a stop to it? You have been gone, Leonardo. You don't know a thing about our relationship yet you see a small portion of it an just assume it is toxic?" he rolled his eyes. "I know what I am doing. I am not a maiden in need of defending."

"Does. He. Hit. You?" with each word he moved closer. His eyes inspecting every inch of his brother's body for anything that would show the truth. He could see some marks but without knowing how they…it was hard to tell if it was abuse or them getting carried away.

Red eyes kept him at bay. Warning him not to touch him. "He has been hurting since you left. More so then the rest of us. He feels you betrayed him, us by leaving." He sighed heavily and turned away. "Don't come here thinking you can fix it all just by ordering us around. If you push him…He will leave."

"Would you go with him?" Leo asked. His eyes focused on him. Wanting to see any sign of his body betraying the truth.

"I love him…Unconditionally." He said softly. Looking back to Leo with a gentle smile.


	5. Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: graphic description of non-con, physical domestic abuse
> 
> Not for the faint of heart

Leo kept his eyes on his brother. He seemed…so different. One moment he was cowering away from them and the next he was able to drive an angered Raph off, something even Leo himself struggled with. Donnie made it seem so easy. Perhaps it was because they were mates? No, Raph seemed to be the dominant one in their relationship, Donnie had submitted to him more then once in the small time he was able to see them together. Yet, was their some agreement that drew the line between lovers and leaders?

Moreover, he couldn't bring himself to stop looking the turtle over. Donnie had been so…different. He was whiny, annoying, lanky and weak. Yet, now…Now he seen a turtle with more confidence, a mature turtle who kept his head up, spoke with a soft yet firm tone. His skin was a beautiful olive color, his muscles tone with legs that seemed to go forever. He looked well taken care of, Raph's doing perhaps but…

"You don't have to stare." Donnie's voice made him jump. His eyes looked up to the ruby irises, trying hard to read them. "I know it is a shock to you…Mikey…at least you didn't walk in on…" he bit his lip. Leo's eyes were wide. Mikey had seen them? Lucky bastard. "Sorry…I shouldn't say anything else…I know how you feel about…homophobic…"

"I'm Bi." Leo blurted out. Donnie looked him up and down as if to find some hint of a lie. "I hadn't realized it then…maybe I didn't want to because I felt it would upset father…" he shrugged. "I was young and stupid…I hurt you. I shouldn't have and for that I am sorry." He moved toward him and watched as he stepped back.

Donnie shook his head. "I understand. I forgive you but…" was he trying to confess? Was that why he came all the way here? If It was it matched to their mating season, the best time to blame the hormones for anything that happened. They held little control during this time. The very reason they went to the farmhouse, it was safer for them and the humans.

"I see I was too late. I wonder what trick he pulled to woo you, or perhaps it was you who went to him…" he stopped when he saw Donnie stared ahead of them. His eyes looking but not seeing. "Donatello?" he tilt his head to the side. The lack of response was disheartening. Perhaps there was far more to that tale then he was willing to share at the moment bur he was willing to wait. He couldn't force him to talk, as much as he desired to. "Donnie?" eyes looked to him, almost confused as to why he was there but this lasted but a faction of a second before clarity kicked in.

"Donatello." He corrected again. Narrowing his eyes.

"I said that but you didn't respond. Still looking to the stars?" he smiled, it was something Don had always done since they were tots. Always looking up, always thinking ahead. "Even after all this time, it is still so adorable." He chuckled as he watched his little brother's face twist in irritation. "No matter if you are leader you are still my younger brother." He crossed his arms. "No force in the world can change this."

The other shrugged. "No, you are right about that." He sighed. Turning away to look up at the dark cloudy sky. More rain was on the way and he wished he could look up and see the moon and stars. To let his mind wander about space and time free of the weight his mortal body possessed. The weight of expectation and obligation, of responsibility. How he dreamed of going to space and exploring the vast universe. Of making discoveries and traveling where no man nor turtle had gone before. Far away from earth, far away from…all of this.

"Have you forgotten about me?" ruby eyes stared into gray, having been so lost in thought he had not noticed how close his brother had gotten. He tried to move back but Leo's hands were there, keeping him in place where he wanted him. "Frankly I am quite hurt. I came all this way to see you and you keep looking away from me."

Donnie growled lowly, a warning. "I don't care how far you have traveled. I am not yours to claim…" he felt his brother's hand move lower down his shell and he began to panic. "Keep moving it lower and I will let you explain to father why you lost it." A promise, and it seemed Leonardo understood that. Yet, that hand continued to move lower until it cupped his right ass cheek, giving it a firm squeeze.

"Hmm, a lot plumper then when I last saw you…too much junkfood? Lack of training? Or is it that Raph likes you a bit thicker…" he was able to catch the wrist just intime to stop the slap. The glare he was getting made him shiver with desire. So there was fire in him, seemed he needed to know what buttons to press.

What the hell was wrong with him? What was Leonardo doing?! Was this some messed up attempt at a test? Was this his hormones talking due to matting season? Was this his attempt at seducing him away from Raphie? No matter what it was, he wasn't going o have it.

"Let me go!" he tried to kick him away but Leonardo seemed ready for it. The moment he moved his leg, they both come crashing down on the roof, his carapace taking the brunt of the fall, not that it hurt him, just an annoyance. The elder turtle hovered above him, arms on either side of his neck and his body between his legs. The smirk on his face shown he knew what he was doing. His silver eyes looking him over in that position, erecting a churr from him. A deep blush played on his cheeks. Why…Why did that sound make his body react like that? Why did it feel like a blaze had shot through him? Was he still in love with Leonardo? Or was it simply because mating season was so close at hand? "Leonardo stop…"

Silver eyes snapped back to his own, searching him for something but not finding it. "You really don't love me do you?" his voice seemed almost hurt by this. "I figured you had simply settled with Raph but…" he pulled away, sitting on his knees. "I was stupid…so stupid to have treated you like that…now I feel as though I lost you forever and that I am the one who drove you to the arms of an abuser like Raph…"

"He is not an abuser!" Donnie sat up on his knees as well, glaring at his eldest brother. "I told you that you don't know what you are talking about. Just because you seen him like that today means nothing. Tensions are high because you came home and…"

"When was your last mission?" he asked. "When did you last encounter enemies?"

Donnie paused to think. "Over a year ago…"

"When did you last train in the dojo?"

Again he had to think. "Over a week ago…"

"The bruises on your neck, the shoulders, the hips, the bite marks on your thighs…am I to assume it is simply because you two like it rough or are you trying to fight for dominance? If it is the former then it seems no contest because Raph had no such marks on him. Maybe your relationship is based on BDSM, perhaps he is quite the sadist and you are a masochist…"

"Why are you so invested in what we do? It is our relationship and you have no right to pry into it…" the look he got back sent a shiver down his spine. It was the same look Leonardo often gave to the Shredder. One of anger and disgust.

Leaf green hands balled into fists. "I have every right if I feel one brother is hurting the other. Donnie it is often hard for the abused to see things outside of their abuser. That is how control works, he is manipulating you physically and emotionally to sway you into doing what he wants and when you refuse…"

"I don't refuse." He snapped. A lie, but it was better then accepting Leo's words. If he really wanted Raphie to stop he knew he would.

"Do you agree to everything out of fear that he will hurt you? Does it make it easier to believe you have some control by letting him and never refusing or is it because you know he wont stop even if you ask him to?" He watched his brother think on his words. The fact he needed to think was worrisome enough. "Donatello…be honest with me. Do not lie and protect him…" he hoped it wouldn't be so, yet he could see some signs. The marks around his neck enough to strike cause for concern at the possibility of such, no matter how grave and horrid it would be. He needed Donnie to admit to it, else it would be his suspicion against them both. "Has he forced himself on you?"

Ruby eyes shot to him, eyes so wide and filled with fear. "What?"

"Has he raped you?" he spoke directly and flatly. Wanting an answer and if Donnie confirmed it…Raphael would rue the day he laid his hands on his brother.

No words were spoken. There didn't need to be. Donatello stood up and moved toward the edge of the roof. Leonardo was quick to follow him, reaching out to grab his hand and get an answer to the question. The purple clad turtle was quick to shoot around and push him away. "How dare you even think he…of all the ideas…the very fact you could…" what had given him the suspicion?

"I am just making sure that this relationship is healthy for you and the team! I am only putting your wellbeing above all else…" he let Donatello vent his anger. Hoping perhaps he would let something slip.

"My wellbeing?! Where was that kindness two years ago when you took my heart and shredded it before my eyes?! Where was that kindness when you left in the middle of the night saying goodbye to everyone else but me?!" his anger rose and he turned away from his brother, afraid that if he continued to look at him he would do something they both would regret. "Where was that kindness when I watched my brother's get letters from you and mine went unanswered? Why didn't you care enough in the last two years to write…something…anything?!" he covered his beak with his hand, stifling the sobs as he tried to contain his emotions. Damn hormones.

"My letters…" he stood confused for a moment before the answer dawned on him. "Donatello, I wanted to write you…so many times I started to ask for forgiveness but each time I could not find the right words…"

"Do not try and make this right! It doesn't matter how many times you tried! There is no proof of it! Just more lies and broken promises!" he bit his lip. Damn it!

Oh Leo caught that! This wasn't just about the letters, nor was it just about him. "He brakes his promises?"

Donnie made no sound, no movement. He said too much already and Leo was already so suspicious. It would be far too hard to explain this away. "Just drop it. I am not going to sit here and be questioned and berated by you." He turned to the edge of the roof. "I will see you at home."

He watched as his brother vanished. Leaving him with far more questions then answers. "I wrote you…more then the others…" he narrowed his eyes.

~LRDM~

Mikey was eagerly waiting for his brothers to come home. They were gone for quite a while and he was starting to get worried because Splinter was not pleased with Donnie. He told him to send him to the Dojo the moment he walked in. That was never a good sign. From the moment he seen Leo he knew this was going to be a shit show. Donnie was no where near ready to confront him and sadly, this close to matting season was only going to make things all the more complicated. Donnie was always so emotional around this time, not like it was his fault or anything but…still it was shit timing.

Leo made it home first, clearly aggravated by whatever happened out there. He smiled and waved to Mikey before he walked up to his room and shut the door. Well glad to know he was even there. He puffed out his cheeks, angry that he was hardly spared a glace by the eldest. "I hate this." He muttered. Moving to the kitchen to get dinner ready for them all. Perhaps if they all sat down and ate like a family again…

Donnie was the next to walk in, holding what seemed like a heavy bag. He looked so tired, so drained and exhausted that when he set the bag on the table Mikey was next to him in the blink of an eye. "Dee, are you okay?!" he checked him over, seeing no harm done to him. His nose wrinkled, smelling Leo on him, masking his once sweet scent.

"Do I smell like Leo?" he asked, Mikey gave a small nod. He sighed heavily. He needed to shower before Raphie got back else he would assume the worst. "Is Raph home?" he watched as their little brother shook his head.

"Sensei wants you in his room right away. He didn't seem too happy bro. You didn't see his face when you ran…" he had never seen their father so pissed.

The elder of the two smiled reassuringly. "I am sure I upset him running off like that. I just…was overwhelmed by seeing Leo again." He pat his shoulder took the bag off the table. "I will go after I put this in the lab." True to his word, once he put the part in the lab he went to see their father.

Sitting on his knees, he bowed lowly to his father, head against the floor. "I know what I had done upset you and I wish I could take it back but…" he sat up as he spoke, the moment his eyes met his father's he was greeted with a hard slap to his face. He said nothing more, he dared not even to touch the wound. He knew better.

"You have shown me nothing but dishonor! Your brother comes home after two years of training to be a better leader, far better then you would ever hope to achieve, and you show your thanks by tucking your tail between your legs and running!" he scuffed. "Such disrespect! Disgraceful! You are acting Leader! What kind of message does this send to your brothers?!"

He took each and every word to heart. He knew he failed their father. He knew he would never be the leader they needed him to be. Yet, Leo was home now, he didn't have to be leader anymore. He could go back to being just Donnie. "I am sorry I have failed you." He kept his eyes cast to the side. He didn't deserve to look their father in the eyes. He had not earned that right.

"You did not just fail me! You have failed each of your brothers as well! From this moment forth you are stripped of your rank! Leonardo will take his rightful place and you will be his second. It seemed you did far better in that position before he left! You will be at his beck and call! Whatever it is he desires, no matter what it is, you will obey him! You will make up for your insolence and disrespect!"

Donatello raised his head, eyes now staring at his father. "You do not understand what you are telling me…Father please understand and reconsider…" the sound of flesh smacking against flesh echoed in the Dojo. This strike had been harder then the last.

"You dare to question my judgement!? I do not know what has gotten into you! You will learn to obey your elders or you will regret your choice to disobey! Do I make myself clear?" he snapped.

They young turtle bowed his head. "Hai, Sensei. I will obey his every word." He bowed lowly to him.

"You are dismissed." The door to his room slammed shut, leaving him in the Dark Dojo.

He slowly rose from his place upon the tatami mat and wiped the blood from his mouth. So he was to serve Leo. A punishment that he was sure his father knew he would hate. Even so, he dared not to disobey him. He and his brothers owed so much to him. He could have left them to die when they were young. He had no reason to go back for them. No reason to raise them. Yet he did, for that they were in his debt.

He walked from the Dojo, smiling to Mikey before he entered the lab and closed the door. There was no reason to worry him over nothing. He could handle this. Just as he had before. He needed only to work to make the Shellraiser fixed and ready to make the trip to the farm house. There they had plenty of space to be away from each other, to prevent further issues and hopefully not kill one another. Shaking his head, he could only hope that Leo and Raph had enough sense not to push each other, yet given their track records, this was unlikely. What was he to do when he had to leave them? Would they be at each other's throats? What about poor Mikey?

There was no easy way to avoid it. It's wasn't like he could tell them why he was going to disappear for a bit. Nor was he willing to just accept them fighting tooth and nail to be the one to lay claim to him. As much as he loved Raphie, if Leonardo challenged him, there was no doubt that Raphie would lose. Even so, it isn't like he was some prize to be won. He had a say and regardless of what they thought, he wasn't going to play by their rules. He loved Raphie and nothing was going to change that.

~LRDM~

It was well past 3am when he finished. Wiping the sweat from his brow he sat in the driver's seat and turned the key. When the engine fired up right away he allowed himself to smile. He was just Donnie again. He would have far more time to tinker and create then he had before. He could dust off his old projects and set to work on them after they returned. Happy and hopeful.

Turning the van off, he set the keys on his desk. His hands were covered in oil. A quick shower sounded nice before bed. Unlike most days, he didn't have work so he would use that time for rest.

Opening the door, he could see the lair was silent. Everyone was sleeping or locked away in their rooms. He was used to the peace of the night, walking about the AM hours with silent clarity. Moving past the kitchen toward the bathroom, he could see two plates of food set out, one with his name on the clear wrap and one with Raph's. The fact that he had not come home by dinner was a red flag. Surely he was out with Casey, perhaps he chose to spend the night there, give how angry he was.

The shower was honestly refreshing. The hot water felt amazing against his sore muscles as it washed away the dirt and oil from his skin. Taking his luffa, he dosed it with a generous amount of bodywash and scrubbed away at his skin, each and every place Leo had touched him. He needed to cover up the smell incase Raphie showed up. The last thing he needed was for him to suspect they had done anything. Donnie would never allow anyone but Raphie to touch him.

And yet…Why had it felt so good when he was in Leo's arms? Why was he longing to return? He shook his head. No, this wasn't right. It was just hormones and he knew exactly why he felt this way. He needed to be careful, to resist his temptations and urges lest he ruin what they have.

Once his body was clean, he rinsed himself off until the water turned cold. He wrapped the towel around himself and stepped away. He moved toward the foggy mirrors, taking the small cloth to wipe it clear. He gasped and dropped the cloth when he noted the dark skinned figure behind him. Turning quickly he looked to see Raphie, his eyes narrowed, swaying slightly from side to side. The pungent smell of alcohol radiated off him.

"Welcome home Raphie…" he offered him a smile but got nothing in return. "I was about to head to bed if you would like to accompany…" Raphie growled when he tried to move. His hand grabbed his wrist in a tight and bruising hold. "Raphie…that hurts…" he was yanked forward, head caught in his other hand. The stronger turtle leaned in, taking a deep inhale of his neck. Donnie shivered, able to fully smell just how much and how badly he reeked of Alcohol. He was far more intoxicated then he had ever seen him before.

A deep guttural growl escaped him. "I warned ya…" venom dripped from each word. His eyes slowly rose to meet his. "I smell 'im on ya…" he twisted his arm, nearly breaking it as he bent it behind him, slamming him against the sink, his head smacked against the mirror, shattering it. His beak pressed against the olive neck, taking in a deep inhale. His mate shivered at the feeling, clearly he was guilty. "Was it worth it?" he asked, grabbing the long neck and throwing him to the unforgiving tile.

Donnie laid on the floor holding his wrist. "Raphie…nothing happened! I swear!" he felt himself be pulled to his legs, shaky and unstable. His head was spinning from the assault earlier he took unsteady steps as he was pulled along. He kept quiet, too afraid to encore his mate's wrath. He was vaguely aware that he was being pulled toward the lab, knowing what was to come as it was sound proofed.

Raph threw his mate in, turning to close the door and lock it. He didn't want to be bothered. He didn't come home to fucking dealing with this shit. That his mate was smelling like the man he pinned after. "On your knees."

"Raphie please!" he looked at him from the floor, trying to plead with him to understand.

"I SAID ON YOUR KNEES!" he grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into the position he wanted. "Ya wanna lie…fine." He dropped, smacking his mate in the face in the process. "Show me how sorry ya are! Prove to me that ya didn't spread yer legs for 'im!" he stroked his cock, smacking his mate in the face as he did.

He couldn't. If Raphie was going to do what he suspected, then he couldn't allow it. It was too close, he had to figure something out, to find another way. Yet, Drunk Raphie couldn't be reasoned with. Drunk Raphie didn't care what happened to him. His hesitation only seemed to anger him more. He was grabbed by his throat again, lifted up from the ground before being slammed to the desk. Glass beakers shattered, metal components flung across the room, papers scattered everywhere.

'Does it make it easier to believe you have some control by letting him and never refusing or is it because you know he wont stop even if you ask him to?' Leo's words played over in his head. Was it easier to believe he had control? Would Raphie stop if he asked? Raphie…did he truly love him? Or did he love his control over him?

"Ya don't wanna suck cock…fine, I prefer yer cunt anyway!" he grabbed his ankles, dragging his carapace across the desk, no doubt leaving deep scratches by the sound of it. "I'll fuck ya til ya remember who ya belong ta! Fucking whore! Slutty bitch!"

Donnie snapped his legs closed. Sitting up quickly as he tried to push his mate off of him. "Raphie No!" he stared in in the eyes, a look a deep pleading as he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. "I know I have been selfish…I know I haven't slept with you in a few days and I know you need that physical connection to feel loved but…" he reached out to cup his mate's cheek. Those amber eyes alive like pools of molten gold. He could see his beak twisted into a snarl, clearly angered by the lack of response and being denied. "I will make it upto you! I promise, just please…trust me…we need to wait." He presses their heads together, trying to show affection, to show that he loved him deeply, that he would only ever love him.

"Do ya love me?" he growled out. His golden eyes looking up into those big ruby eyes of his mate.

Donnie smiled, wrapping his arms around his mate's shoulders. Leo was wrong. All this doubts were unfounded. Raphie stopped! Raphie listened to him. He loved him. He felt that strong emerald hand move to hold the back of his head. Hovering their beaks close to eachother. Their breath mixing with each exhale. "Unconditionally." He replied, leaning forward to kiss him.

Raph pulled back, hand moving to lock around his throat, this time squeezing it so tightly he cut off his air completely. "Then you will forgive me."

The tears he held back fell freely now. His eyes narrowed with the pain of betrayal. Raphie wasn't going to stop, he could feel his free hand trying to pry open his legs but Donnie refused. Using all his strength to keep his legs together, to try and stop him. His hands pushed against the offending one, prioritizing keeping his legs closed over fighting the hand against his throat.

Raph was pissed. Even when he was being choked, Donnie's legs were still strong. That was one of the many things he loved about him. How long and strong his legs were. He would be lying if he said that his fighting it didn't turn him on more. That his struggling was making his dick painfully hard. Yet, this game was getting old fast. His patients running out. So he let go of his long legs and instead turned his attention toward his head. As much as he hated to ruin that pretty face, he had no choice. He back handed him. Not once, not twice but thrice. Upon the third strike, those legs fell limp, his mate was barely conscious, groaning as he held his head. Releasing his throat, he turned his beloved around, exposing his ass to him. Raph wasted no time, he pressed his engorged cock into him, fully sheathing it in one swift thrust. This ripped a cry from his mate. The fool tried to kick him off but he held him down by the back of his neck. "He musta been fuck'en small…yer still so fuck'en tight!" he commented. Slapping that beautiful ass.

He deserved it. He deserved all of it. He broke his promise. He smelled like Leo when he knew better. It was he who drove him off. It was him that enticed their brother. He was weak. He was a whore. He was a slut that no one would love. No one but Raphie.

Slowly he opened his eyes, meeting with the sight of spectacular colors. Even as he felt the pain of each and every savage thrust, he focused on the brilliant and beautiful colors before him. The colors of the rainbow roses that his love had given him. A promise…to do better. To be better. Of endless and everlasting love. Slowly he reached out, gently touching the flower's soft petals with his finger. Still so beautiful, still holding that promise of love, of happiness, of his beloved.

An image of his mate flashed before his eyes. One eye gone, reaching out to their blind elder brother. Both upon the ground. Both cold, pale, lifeless. He stood above them, all of them. The sole survivor. The last turtle. His brothers dead because of him.

He pulled the flower to him. Cradling it as if it were the most precious thing in the world. A gift from his brother. His lover. His mate. His one and only. Even as the tears fell freely from his eyes, he held onto that flower. He would endure this pain. It meant his brother was alive. That he was receiving what he deserved for being the last one left. The pain was bearable, because it was Raphie who caused it. That it was his love, his one and only taking what belonged to him. Donnie was Raphie's. A possession to be used. So long as he served a purpose, Raphie would keep him. Raphie would love him.

"Gonna cum…Gonna fill ya up nice 'n full babe." He leaned over his shell, continuing his savage thrusting, licking and sucking on that sweet neck. "Mine." He snarled, biting down on the soft flesh until the taste of iron filled his mouth. He heard the small hiss from his mate, only confirming that this would last. When ever anyone saw it, they would know that this piece of ass belonged to him.

"Please…Don't…" he tried one last time, pleading to not be filled but it fell on deaf ears. No sooner did he beg then his mate bit into his neck and came, filling him full of his potent seed. He buried his face into the rose. Wanting and prying it would take him far away from the consequences of what was possibly to come.

Tired. He was so fucking tired as he stood up. A few more lazy thrusts and he slipped out, watching as his cum slowly ran down those long olive legs. He smiled to himself, wiping the remaining blood from his mouth. His mate slowly sank to the floor, clinging to that fucking rose. Kneeling down, he curled his finger under Donnie's chin, forcing him to look up at him. "Don't look at me like that. Aint my fault ya had me so pent up." His thumb moved soothingly over his chin. "He aint shit is he? Compared to me?" he snorted.

"We didn't…" his mate began.

He back handed him again. Watching as the marred face turned a darker shade of purple. "Bitches don't talk back. Thought ya knew that by now Donnie boy." He gently stroked the bruise with the back of his hand, watching as his brother took a shallow breath. "Who do you belong ta?"

"You." He choked out. "Raphie…"

The elder purred. "Do you love me?" he asked. Gently turning his head to face him again.

Donnie leaned his head against that hand, showing all the love and affection he could muster. "Unconditionally." He spoke softly.


End file.
